Life is but a dream... much of it seems hazed and surreal, shifting from sadness to joy and stopping here and there in between. Yesterday weaves itself through dreams of tomorrows and today is split evenly between what was and what will be. Life is but a dream...wake me not...for in every dream there is an new me to explore and a new you to discover. Dream your own dreams, weave them into the fabric of mine and share them with all who wish to partake of them. Dream... Dream... Dream...For who can say that their reality is of more importance or woven of a finer fabric than my own.
Dreams are... well, they are dreams... they are made up of our experiences, the sights,scents, sounds,tastes, textures and emotions of our existence. They morph about and shift shapes they are their own reality but are without substance. Ephemeral, Misty shadows that peek into the recesses of our minds when we let down our guard. They show us that which we love, that which we despise, that which we seek and that which we seek to hide. They are our hopes, our aspirations, our desires,our loves, our fears, our likes and dislikes, they are made up of whole cloth, the wholeness of our very being and yet they are not real, they are only dreams...
Did I just sit here and write all this... or is it a dream... for in truth I am but an inarticulate soul... incapable of original thought... dreaming... weaving old thoughts and ancient ideas into my dreamworld and wrapping myself in an imaginary cloak of wispy thoughts that I believe are mine but actually belong to a graduating senior who is quoting some obscure French existentialist. Life is a dream... a wonderful dream...
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Self restraint.....
I have been working hard on using self restraint on the forums of my favorite web site. I discovered right away that it is not easy to keep my opinions to myself and even harder to refrain from commenting on a posting that pushes one of my hot buttons. At first it was easiest to just refrain from posting anything at all. Then slowly I began to enter into the topics that were safe and talk about things that were non controversial.
I don't know how many times I typed responses to posts that were about issues that I have strong opinions on and then deleted them without hitting the send button. But today It seemed to take a lot more effort on my part to not reply than usual.
So what trips my switch and makes me antsy to respond? Well, it can be a lot of things. Today the worst was a comment about people in the fire ravaged part of the state and how God gave us brains and how it is foolish of all those people to live in homes built in areas that God designed to be burned as a part of it's normal life cycle. Hmmm, very callous statement in a forum that had people discussing how they could help the fire victims and some of the people that had been evacuated from their homes were checking in to let their friends know they are ok or to ask if others had been heard from yet.
I typed a lengthy reply that Since mankind had been kicked out of the Garden of Eden, there is no safe place to build where fire, flood, earthquake, avalanche, hurricane, tsunami....some form of natural disaster would not be a threat. Where were they supposed to build a home? That placing blame on the victims was insensitive and out of line. Now, of course, I spent a lot of time on wording it and it was quite lengthy and I was really itching to send it when I stopped.
I got up from the computer and went outside for a cigarette to think about it before I hit that send button. As I sat there I started asking myself why I wanted to reply to this persons comment. Not why was what they said upsetting but why reply? What purpose would it serve? Would it make any of the victims feel better? Would it teach this person anything? Would it somehow make me look more caring or make anyone think more highly of me if I attacked this person? Would it undo any damage the poster had done or heal any resentment? The answer was a resounding NO to all the above. So I came back in and hit the delete button, clicked unwatch this thread and went to work.
So, have I finally learned self restraint? Well, I'm working on it....
I don't know how many times I typed responses to posts that were about issues that I have strong opinions on and then deleted them without hitting the send button. But today It seemed to take a lot more effort on my part to not reply than usual.
So what trips my switch and makes me antsy to respond? Well, it can be a lot of things. Today the worst was a comment about people in the fire ravaged part of the state and how God gave us brains and how it is foolish of all those people to live in homes built in areas that God designed to be burned as a part of it's normal life cycle. Hmmm, very callous statement in a forum that had people discussing how they could help the fire victims and some of the people that had been evacuated from their homes were checking in to let their friends know they are ok or to ask if others had been heard from yet.
I typed a lengthy reply that Since mankind had been kicked out of the Garden of Eden, there is no safe place to build where fire, flood, earthquake, avalanche, hurricane, tsunami....some form of natural disaster would not be a threat. Where were they supposed to build a home? That placing blame on the victims was insensitive and out of line. Now, of course, I spent a lot of time on wording it and it was quite lengthy and I was really itching to send it when I stopped.
I got up from the computer and went outside for a cigarette to think about it before I hit that send button. As I sat there I started asking myself why I wanted to reply to this persons comment. Not why was what they said upsetting but why reply? What purpose would it serve? Would it make any of the victims feel better? Would it teach this person anything? Would it somehow make me look more caring or make anyone think more highly of me if I attacked this person? Would it undo any damage the poster had done or heal any resentment? The answer was a resounding NO to all the above. So I came back in and hit the delete button, clicked unwatch this thread and went to work.
So, have I finally learned self restraint? Well, I'm working on it....
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
testing Pixamo blog inserts
This is Pyxle at the park. just a short clip to test this feature of Pixamo
Well, it put a picture up that if clicked will take you to the sign in for Pixamo but the video is only viewable if you log in. This makes it awkward for blog purposes.
Sunday, July 29, 2007
Fish!
The rivers are low and the deep pools are clear but over the past decade the Eel river has been almost devoid of fish. So when we took the dog to run the riverbar I was startled to look down into a deep pool and see lots of small fish swimming around. They ranged in size from 1 inch to about 8 inches and they were feasting on the bugs that were skimming the waters surface. There must have been over a hundred of them in this one place. Small trout. Beautiful, dashing, shimmering trout that hopefully will survive to grow and spawn here in the future. Wouldn't ya know it, it was the first time in a month I left the camera at home!
Friday, July 27, 2007
High School glory days?
As I drove past the local High school tonight I noticed the sign had been changed to welcome the class reunion of the class of 1957. 50 years. It struck me funny for some reason.
High school is 4 years of our lives and 50 years later a group of people come together to relive old times and rehash their glory days, brag about their accomplishments or look up old sweethearts. Some have never left the area and others have left to create lives elsewhere but for this momentous occasion they flock back to the old gymnasium from far and wide.
Maybe I am odd but I really do not see the point. The friends I had back in high school are total strangers now. If I really cared about them and wanted to track them down I would not need to wait for a reunion to do it. And to be honest, the few old friends I have looked up or been located by over the years were no more the teenager I remembered than I am. I found it to be rather sad to see them old and gray or to hear that this one was dead, another was convicted of hit and run, one is now on the city council and so on.
We shared a few memories and went our separate ways with no desire on my part to rekindle the old friendships with these strangers. When our 25th reunion came along I had no desire to use my cherished vacation time revisiting the far distant past when there are current friends, family and grand kids I could use it visiting.
I have enjoyed conversations with strangers, getting to know them and learning about their hometowns. I have listened raptly as a 100 year old woman talked about history. I have laughed at the humor of a 10 year old child who stopped to visit me in the park because they like my dog. But I have no interest in reliving my own past with a lot of people that are trying too hard to recapture the tumultuous teen years.
Don't get me wrong, I had a good time in High school. I sometimes think of something that happened back then and it has made for a nice anecdote in a conversation. But there is so much more to my life, so many more current happenings and people that to spend an entire week end trying to relive those 4 years seems somehow empty and desperate.
So, I think I'll skip the 30th, 40th 50th, 60th reunions and just show up for the 75th to see who is the last man/woman standing....that should be interesting.
High school is 4 years of our lives and 50 years later a group of people come together to relive old times and rehash their glory days, brag about their accomplishments or look up old sweethearts. Some have never left the area and others have left to create lives elsewhere but for this momentous occasion they flock back to the old gymnasium from far and wide.
Maybe I am odd but I really do not see the point. The friends I had back in high school are total strangers now. If I really cared about them and wanted to track them down I would not need to wait for a reunion to do it. And to be honest, the few old friends I have looked up or been located by over the years were no more the teenager I remembered than I am. I found it to be rather sad to see them old and gray or to hear that this one was dead, another was convicted of hit and run, one is now on the city council and so on.
We shared a few memories and went our separate ways with no desire on my part to rekindle the old friendships with these strangers. When our 25th reunion came along I had no desire to use my cherished vacation time revisiting the far distant past when there are current friends, family and grand kids I could use it visiting.
I have enjoyed conversations with strangers, getting to know them and learning about their hometowns. I have listened raptly as a 100 year old woman talked about history. I have laughed at the humor of a 10 year old child who stopped to visit me in the park because they like my dog. But I have no interest in reliving my own past with a lot of people that are trying too hard to recapture the tumultuous teen years.
Don't get me wrong, I had a good time in High school. I sometimes think of something that happened back then and it has made for a nice anecdote in a conversation. But there is so much more to my life, so many more current happenings and people that to spend an entire week end trying to relive those 4 years seems somehow empty and desperate.
So, I think I'll skip the 30th, 40th 50th, 60th reunions and just show up for the 75th to see who is the last man/woman standing....that should be interesting.
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